Diesel

[ChristopherSea]

I liked this, but I felt that the second stanza was unnecessary. However, since you have "William to Bailey" in the first stanza, perhaps you could have incorporated one line from the second stanza into each of the other stanzas, instead of having the second stanza as itself. That would give the piece more shape.
Nice write!

Thank you very helpful.

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Hello bb, I like the 16-wheeling theme. There may be too much brevity of language herein. It's almost like an exercise in avoiding all articles and minimizing verbs. The list of cities stanza might be more interesting as an array of landmarks. Weaving in grandpa gave it a personal nostalgic feel, albeit bittersweet. That stanza and the penultimate one were may favorites. Elaboration of the cargo varieties would be intriguing. Good luck with your next edit. Welcome to the site./Chris

Chris thanks for the thoughtful comments. It's always a bit of challenge to distill something without going too far. I incorporated a previous commentor's suggestion, hopefully it improves sufficiently. Let me know if you still think it's too sparse.

Well, you have to be the one to properly distill the advice as well. I like the second edit more, especially the way you reworked in those locales. I think you want 'breathe' and not 'breath'. I missed it the first time round. This might seem trivial, but isn't there a more intriguing street corner. You have a chance to work in a clever metaphor (e.g., the corner of Heaven and Hell, you know what I mean...).