Cross, Out Back

[ellajam]

Hi, bb, welcome.

I liked the original and think your edit has improved it. I prefer the top one, but feel you could lose "a woman with". I think a lot of people associate laundry with women, and if they don't I still think gender isn't an issue here, for me it works with anyone as the launderer. I might break on crucifix.

Thanks for the read, if you give a few more critiques in the workshops you could participate fully there. Glad to have you, thanks for the read.

a crucifix of
weathered board and nails
suspending line, laundry
above fresh dirt

a woman with
clothes pins braced
between fingers and teeth
praising, surrendering,

or hanging wash
----------------

weathered board and nails
suspending line, laundry
above fresh dirt,
a crucifix

clothes pins held
between fingers and teeth
praising, surrendering,

or a woman
hanging wash

---------
a crucifix:
weathered board and nails
suspending line, laundry
above fresh dirt

a woman:
clothes pins braced
between fingers and teeth
praising, surrendering,

or hanging wash