05-08-2014, 02:08 PM
Somewhere an oak tree falls quietly,
Crumbling at the strength of the cement, Watch the capitalization, and I think you could use a better word than "crumbling"
and in its place, a single street lamp
houses a family of moths.
The light of the moon shines dimly
against the numerous night-lit signs, redundant
slowly tumbling down until it’s
swallowed by the buildings above. This is strange. The buildings are above what? the light? how can the moonlight tumble down into the buildings if the buildings are above the moonlight? You are missing a step.
Crumbling at the strength of the cement, Watch the capitalization, and I think you could use a better word than "crumbling"
and in its place, a single street lamp
houses a family of moths.
The light of the moon shines dimly
against the numerous night-lit signs, redundant
slowly tumbling down until it’s
swallowed by the buildings above. This is strange. The buildings are above what? the light? how can the moonlight tumble down into the buildings if the buildings are above the moonlight? You are missing a step.