05-26-2014, 02:20 PM
The last word "lukewarm" seems so out of place. It just feels like you could have picked something else to match the energy. The last word should leave me with thoughts of something other than mildly warm. I like the energy though aside from the last line. I sense passion although im not quite sure at what you're getting at. There seems to be a fair amount of ambiguity which I have to admit is not my strong suite in diagnosing.