Loving you

[twisterkid34]

I can’t bear the thought of loving you again.

Swallowing what’s left of my pride and dignity.
I’ve got nothing left inside of me.
Worn out and tired of being thrown around.
I’m sick of living in this fucking town. You are not writing sentences. Just sticking a period after a group of words does not count

I can’t stand the thought of loving you again. This is the best line in the piece and it SHOULD be the central metaphor. You tell but do not show

Still trapped in my head, agonizing.
Life without you, terrifying.
Memories locked in my mind.
Answers lost, so hard to find.

I hate the thought of loving you.

Why do I do this to myself?
I can’t scream, can’t yell, or call out for help.
Alone with my thoughts, ill try again. ill(sic) pun
Burned my bridge, but lost a friend.

The thought of loving you. Isolated and disconnected but perhaps wistfully intended. More like this would work if you could join up the dots

It eats at me indefinitely.
In my dreams endlessly.
I am empty, you without.
Still pondering about.

Loving you

Hello and welcome.
This suffers from the desire to be poetic,as in "fucking town" (not relevant to the theme so used for dramatic intent). The rest is just full of cliches but don't despair, this is just how it all starts. You need to avoid all the "common" phrases you have heard before and avoid telling the reader how you feel...use language that SHOWS your thoughts; metaphors, similes, imagery. So get rid of:
I can't bear the thought
swallowing (what's left of) my pride
Nothing left inside
trapped in my head
life without you
locked in my mind
alone with my thoughts
burned my bridge

The last couplet appalling is and you probably agree.

I am empty, you without.
Still pondering about.

What about is this? You have Yoda'd yourself into a rhyme trap unnecessarily.

So, overall, it lacks newness both in concept and execution BUT if you condensed the whole thing into a few lines of english you could get the juice out of it. There is a poem here which is essentially about the dreadful dichotomy of letting love reignite in the same hearth...with every chance it will flicker for a while and then quietly extinguish when no one is looking...as it did before.
If this is veracity verse I am sorry not to be more sympathetic but for this reader....write something else.
Best,
tectak

I really appreciate the feed back. I know love is a sorely overused topic but what can I say, its just been on my mind lately. I'll try to look into writing about some other things that might help get rid of some of the cliches. On a side note about the punctuation, this was actually written on my phone so when ever I skipped down a line it added a period to the end of each fragment. I apologize for not noticing that, I guess I'm just used to ignoring it. I also really like the way you used Yoda to point out the flaw in my rhyme scheme, I actually thought about that exact example after I had written it but found I couldn't come up with anything better . I'm glad you found some humor in that lol.