06-04-2014, 04:06 AM
First of i just want to say i like it with "you" instead of "i" but to each his own i guess. And i like the text, especially the subject and it has a lyrical style to it, which i like. I think the way it flows is good like "Haziness is often misinterpreted as happiness. The perceptions at moment become deceptions" because i can relate to, as i have done some substance abuse. i can't relate to everything but even the parts i can't i think is interesting to read. There is a part where the words become intangled a bit for me, maybe that's just me that can't understand the purpose but "You make yourself want to; to want to die" sounds confusing me. Also "You try to fool but your resilience mimics the silence" doesn't sound grammatically right, but english is not my first lanquage so i'm not sure