My first poem, feedback much appreciated

[casper]

Hi all,
this is my first poem, it's an exhale of my bottled up emotions and a much needed channel of expression. Please do give constructive feedback on my newly found means of self-expression.

Was it real?

I can’t stop thinking about you. Was it real?

You are not anymore an image, no longer a tangible memory;
you are a feeling, a longing, a suspicion it never happened.
Possibly a figment of my imagination.

Was it real?

The sweet, oh so sweet, memories I once had
are now replaced by a distant dream, a dream
that is nothing but an illusion of what could be
or of what I hoped it was for that brief time.

I long for your touch, which by now
could as well have been a passing daydream;
so unreal it feels it was.

But I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

I do wonder if you ever think of me. Rather than a pondering,
it is but an endless search for answers that my heart presents to the universe,
a pleading I desperately wish to be real, as real as the feelings I still have for you.

Was it real? Were you real? Or was it all a dream?

I feel hurt, I feel deceived, I feel love, I feel desperation. I feel you.
As I close my eyes I feel the touch of your hands on my body,
your fingers sculpturing the shape of my lips,
you inside of me.
Was it ever real?

The moments we shared bring me warmth; they bring me sadness, then hope, and again despair.
I feel I want answers yet again I want to walk into the sunset and never look back.
I want to think what we had was real, but I’m afraid to know the truth.

You diminish. You live on. You decay. You reappear.

I dream. I cry. I love. I despair.

Was it real?

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Hi: it is good that you have found an outlet for your feelings. As it stands, I would say you wrote fully expressed letter. However, as I am learning there are many techniques to poetry; many forms: it would be helpful to you to look over the sites on metrics and poetry forms. Mostly, you need to cut your words; there is too much repetition of the same words; eg; was it real, was it a dream; I miss you, I miss you. You have a common topic and should combine a line with one thought at a time; in an organized way; these are things being new myself I am learning. ie: "sweet memories are a distant dream", illusion now of what could have been" : do the rest with this stanza and other repetitins;; "I miss you, blah blah, are you real, over and over; make these thoughts stand out in a concise line; it can be reinforced somewhere else but not over and over. There are much more learned people than I to speak with. Good luck. Loretta

Loretta, thank you so much for your feedback. I Now that I read the poem again I see how it is a bit long, and more like letter type! The feedback is much appreciated, thank you. I don't yet understand much about stanzas but will keep reading stuff here and maybe pick up a few good hints!

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If it helped you get out the emotion then it was good. In terms of poetry you should try to make it so the reader can experience the emotion. Maybe be more general next time if you are going for poetry. But again, what is it to you? Do you like it? If the answer is yes then that is all that matters my friend.

Thank you so much for this feedback. Perhaps the feelings weren't expressed enough so that the reader, outsider, could understand them but I literally wrote down what my heart poured out. There is a lot of repetition, because that is what my heart tells me. And the other feelings are exactly the same, it expresses exactly I I feel. But I should probably try to understand my own feelings better so I can express them to a third person. Thank you for you feedback, though, I take everything on-board.