07-07-2014, 02:07 PM
Well it's vague, inconsistent (prison-->jail, judging, not judging, etc.) and 12 lines of emo cliche. Has no meter, or recognizable cadence. Metaphor is the only poetic trope used, and some of that is just silly:
"I want to create riddles that pass through the bars
that way at least I´d free part of my heart."
It's a riddle, how riddles can free a heart by being passed through the imagined bars of an imagined jail?
If the writer is below the age of 18, this seems fairly representative of that age group. Regardless, any place is a good place to start, if talent exist, the site can teach you the skills.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
"I want to create riddles that pass through the bars
that way at least I´d free part of my heart."
It's a riddle, how riddles can free a heart by being passed through the imagined bars of an imagined jail?
If the writer is below the age of 18, this seems fairly representative of that age group. Regardless, any place is a good place to start, if talent exist, the site can teach you the skills.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.