07-21-2014, 05:37 PM 
	
	
	(07-21-2014, 01:43 AM)KatBrown Wrote: Okay, so here's my revised version and Leanne it turns out I did come up with an alternate choice for "power to cast a dark spell"Removing punctuation COMPLETELY is not the same as punctuating CORRECTLY. Yes, you DO normally need to seperate items in a list with commas, if they are "items". A shopping list, for example. If you are listing phrases, then a semicolon will usually do it. If the phrase turns out to be a complete sentence then a period denotes its end. If you READ your poem out loud you will hear where pauses fall. Punctuation has another use, other than the formal structural purpose. You can use a comma, semicolon and period to denote where pauses should fall in order to CLARIFY YOUR INTENT. If you read at a fixed pace, or beat, then you can approximate like this. Comma-one count; Semicolon-two count; colon-three count; period-to suit dramatic purpose.
WORDS
They’re just words, right?
Words of endearment words of strife
Words that impale words that are trite
Creative words so cunning and coy
Pregnant with meaning or empty and void
Words don’t have energy, power or force
Til they’re seen or spoken or given a voice
Just letters on a page til the moment they’re heard
At second glance--I guess they are more than words
They’re the start of a thing or its demise
The rendering of ideas the welcomed surprise
The wishing on a star where we enter make believe
A loved one’s last thoughts as they find sweet relief "One" is singular, "they" is plural
Think before you speak or so we’ve been told
Wonderful advice from those who’ve grown old
Given because they know all too well
Words can empower or hurt like hell
And seldom do words fall on deaf ears
And heart’s aren’t bulletproof they’re easily pierced
So choose your words wisely their impact remains
A source of inspiration or an indelible stain
Line breaks are NOT punctuation and should not be used in that way. Capitalising line starts is retro, faux-poetic and was never a good idea even in the 19th century
 ,confusing and simply without purpose.
,confusing and simply without purpose.One final point, if you write in "list form" it will sound like a list; which can get quite boring and sterile...so make sure your list is interesting and diverse. Stylistically, and with skill, a list can be written which leaves no reqirement for punctuation. It is not easy. In your piece, anomalies are rife.
Words that impale words
til the moment they’re heard at second glance
make believe a loved one’s last thoughts
those who’ve grown old given because they know
Best,
tectak

 

 
