The Rut

[ChristopherSea]

The Rut

A boreal chill prevails;
bull nostrils in full heat and fury
snort a hormonal hate,
and eyes like soft-boiled eggs watch it condense
into one more mountain mist.

It's how October demands it.

In the Rockies, testosterone is cash.
Look how they flash it about,
when the rut begins.

They gather for their annual ball,
picking fights first with soft cedars,
just to rehearse their horns
before the clashing;
clashing heads and spines
turn fancies into wars.

‘til finally, too concussed to be cold,
a victor meets his ill-betrothed.

It's how October demands it.

Hey Paul, I really like natural history pieces. This is a great visual. I do think that you could have greater impact using more brevity of word.

In Line 2, stanza one ‘heat and’ could be deleted and make better use of the alliteration.

Line 3 may read better as ‘snort with hormonal hatred.’

I always try using direct metaphor before simile, would dropping the ‘and’ & 'like' and then using ‘soft-boiled egg eyes watch it condense’ work for you?

Simply saying, ‘into mountain mist’ and ‘October demands it’ are more direct.

‘rehearse their horns’ reads odd to me, ‘hone their horns’ may be more biologically accurate and more alliterative.

‘clashing; clashing’ clashes. Maybe ‘thrashing’ followed by a period for the first one.

Hopefully you can find some ideas for your next edit from this. See what you think, Cheers/Chris