Words

[billy]

hi kat klump and thanks for your feedback elsewhere.

i copy and pasted your edit to the opening post so they can be easily compared.

some of the lines give the chance for some good wordplay but without punctuation it can't be done, i think the poem would benefit for some. (some poems work well without but i'm not sure that's the case here. ) so far it's a good edit but i think it still needs more, trim away what you don't really need and look at shortening lines with lots of filler. well done so far and thanks for the read.

edit 1

WORDS

They’re just words, right?
Words of endearment words of strife
Words that impale words that are trite re a remark above; if you put a comma after the second words (not after impale) you'd give the impression of impaling trite words, just a suggestion
Creative words so cunning and coy this is a better line as it breaks up the word syndrome
Pregnant with meaning or empty and void good word change

Words don’t have energy, power or force
Til they’re seen or spoken or given a voice
Just letters on a page til the moment they’re heard i think the meters a little off, a suggestion would be [just letter's on pages until they are heard]
At second glance--I guess they are more than words feels a little wordy, i preferred the original line without the [just]

They’re the start of a thing or its demise
The rendering of ideas the welcomed surprise a suggestion for the meter would be [the rendered idea, the welcome surprise]
The wishing on a star where we enter make believe
A loved one’s last thoughts as they find sweet relief

Think before you speak or so we’ve been told
Wonderful advice from those who’ve grown old
Given because they know all too well
Words can empower or hurt like hell

And seldom do words fall on deaf ears
And heart’s aren’t bulletproof they’re easily pierced
So choose your words wisely their impact remains
A source of inspiration or an indelible stain

original

WORDS

They’re just words, right?
Words of endearment, words of strife
Words that impale you, words that are trite
Words that are creative, cunning and coy
Chock full of meaning, or empty and void

Words don’t have power or energy or force
Until they’re seen, until they’re spoken, until they’re given a voice
They’re just constructs of letters, til they’re spoken and heard
At second glance, I guess they are more than words

They’re the start of a thing or its demise
The rendering of ideas, the welcomed surprise
The wishing on a star where we enter make believe
And a loved one’s last thoughts as they find sweet relief

Think before you speak, or so we’ve been told
Very good advice from those who’ve grown old
Given by people who know all too well
Words have the power to cast a dark spell

And seldom do words fall on deaf ears
And the heart’s not impenetrable, it’s easily pierced
So choose your words wisely, for their impact remains
A source of inspiration or an indelible stain