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Fat
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08-30-2014, 01:45 AM
I think your friend should try thinking about how this might be made more poetic. The 4th line is rather nice, but the rest is just thinking aloud, with little attempt at any craft. Or so it seems to me.
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Fat - by QDeathstar - 08-29-2014, 10:26 AM
RE: Fat - by QDeathstar - 08-30-2014, 01:26 AM
RE: Fat - by ray - 08-30-2014, 01:45 AM
RE: Fat - by ChristopherSea - 08-30-2014, 06:35 AM
RE: Fat - by QDeathstar - 08-30-2014, 06:45 AM
RE: Fat - by QDeathstar - 08-30-2014, 11:29 AM
RE: Fat - by Bleumeon - 08-31-2014, 07:55 PM
RE: Fat - by CameranMorgan - 09-04-2014, 12:05 PM
RE: Fat - by VisualPoet703 - 09-06-2014, 03:20 AM
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