I Notice

[danny_]

thanks for your comments, ThePinsir. the images were actually partly inspired from a photo. maybe i didn't paint it very well with words, but there was definitely a salmon sky with the occasional dark and lonely cloud hanging about. what is in her eyes? basically just saying (trying to say) i see who she is, the inner person, whereas others may not. rock-sitting; just meant on the evenings she goes out and finds a rock to sit on and write. thanks again, this isn't really a finished poem but in the molding process still.

(revision 2 posted)

I Notice
Loose pen strokes roll like ocean waves
on rock-sitting evenings. I don't even know what rock-sitting means. Maybe I'm weird.
Warm, salmon sky.
Dark clouds hang around, lonely. Can you have dark clouds while the sky is salmon colored?
A choppy surface meets vague
and distant forms of land.

Carried on the salty wind, I like the salty imagery
you are a whisper in the window screen;
the background to a candle-lit dinner
escaping as the last light does
from notice.

But I notice
something vast and hidden in your eyes, what is it!?
quiet as the rolling seaside.

Reflective,
anchored and steady
you listen as you write,
watched by the moon.

You notice something in his/her eyes. Something quiet. I want to know what.