Window

[brandontoh]

This is a really nice poem! The lines are good and evocative, and there's not much excess. It's a good edit. However, my main problem is that there seems to be an inconsistency with the imagery you're trying to build. The mention of rain and fire makes me a little confused and unsure of the poem. Also, there is this zooming in from outdoors to indoors that's nice, but 'to city ambiance slipping through curtains' sounds like you're pulling the poem to the outdoors again. I would change a few words and structure to make the poem more consistent, but maybe that's just me. 

revised
Window
Raindrop clings to a wire,
stretches fire through its glass.
The true burning form sets
amidst the silhouettes of buildings.
A couple sleep
to city ambiance slipping through curtains,
breathing face to face,
embraced.