09-26-2014, 12:24 AM
I like these lines:
With the lonely light
of the lamp post
along with "the bullets of rain"
The figurative language makes these lines more interesting. If you took out the bland adjective, noun combinations and instead did more of what you did on the above lines, it would be much more effective in my opinion.
Just thoughts,
Todd
With the lonely light
of the lamp post
along with "the bullets of rain"
The figurative language makes these lines more interesting. If you took out the bland adjective, noun combinations and instead did more of what you did on the above lines, it would be much more effective in my opinion.
Just thoughts,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson