09-29-2014, 10:51 AM
A rhythmic poem, quite dark and moving.
(08-22-2014, 10:14 PM)tectak Wrote: Look to the crow, hung spiked on the wire, wind torn and tied. I especially like this first line, brings the reader right in
Dead by the lead that flew to his calls,
blooding black feather, searing inside; There's something off here about blooding black feather... blooding black doesn't evoke any strong images in me
watch as he falls.
Look to the body that swings from the tree, hollow and dried. I like the repetition of "look to..." and basically the repetition of all three stanzas
Death dealt by demons, holy men all,
whose merciless gods walk by their side.
Face to the wall.
Look to the crow that died without cause, as others will, too.
Croak into blackness, silence the dawn, silence the dawn is my favorite line
keep secret beliefs; next it is you
to be reborn.
tectak
2014