28.9.14

[rayheinrich]

I like what you have done here. a sort of tanka and being connected with the moon
makes it exquisite for me.

the first part works as a haiku and the question after it also work well, it very
much fits the form of a renga/renka a joint venture that's often connected with love.
that said it reads as one person but it does read well.

Not tanka, or renga or renka (though cooperating with oneself,
especially over a period of time, seems perfectly valid to me).

It's two haiku. The second haiku has 3 lines, its second line just
doesn't have any words (denoted by the dash). The two haiku are
normal haiku when read apart, but when placed on the same page
the reader psychologically links them. It's a type of enjambment
that's a tiny bit like a pivot line haiku:

white crane flying -
through the mist
an autumn moon

white crane flying
through the mist -
an autumn moon

The second line - the pivot line - can belong to either the first or the
second part, each making a valid haiku. The fact that the white
crane might be the moon and the moon might be the white crane isn't
necessary for a pivot line haiku, but it's neat anyway.

My favorite psychologically linked haiku is a season cycle. I put
four haiku together with kigo for spring, summer, autumn, fall.
They seemed to be a linked narrative of the passing of a year.
(I can't find one at the moment/ written long ago.)

It's a myth that haiku don't include humans and relationships.
It's OK as long as they are referenced through the natural
world. For instance:

"Consider me
As one who loved poetry -
And persimmons"
- Shiki