10-04-2014, 12:42 PM
thank you paul.
yes, i guess it would read better ending country side with a period and starting a new sentence. i was also thinking on those lines after posting. but i am not sure about breaking it after monsoon though i have posted it like that here.
thank you ohaces. i changed it to cottage. yes, it definitely read better.
The slag adjusted her bodice in front of the mirror
at his cottage in the country side.
Raindrops swelled and rolled
down the mud wall. A clump of wildflowers
wilted, and left behind a muddied remainder
of the monsoon
and his warm breath.
yes, i guess it would read better ending country side with a period and starting a new sentence. i was also thinking on those lines after posting. but i am not sure about breaking it after monsoon though i have posted it like that here.
thank you ohaces. i changed it to cottage. yes, it definitely read better.
The slag adjusted her bodice in front of the mirror
at his cottage in the country side.
Raindrops swelled and rolled
down the mud wall. A clump of wildflowers
wilted, and left behind a muddied remainder
of the monsoon
and his warm breath.
