Tryst

[Brownlie]

The slag adjusted her bodice in front of the mirror
at his holiday home in the country side; -- I'm speaking out my ass here, but you may want to reconsider linking consecutive prepositions.
raindrops swelled and rolled
down the mud wall. A clump of wildflowers  -- You could maybe go into depth about what type of wildflowers, though the word "wild" seems important here.
wilted, and left behind a muddied remainder
of the monsoon and his warm breath. -- Warm breath is the most salient detail.

Well, the poem feels dated, but that may have been your point. I don't know if anyone wears a bodice anymore. So, I'm not sure how new this poem is because you could probably find some very similar poems written a few hundred years ago. However,  this poem has some good language and metaphor (in my opinion).