10-23-2014, 09:06 AM
I like it, but I for one think it is somewhat important that you fix up the grammar, spelling, etc. Like "u"-"you", as has been said. Other than minor spelling things, the poem could read better if you added in some good punctuation. For example, the first stanza could have a comma after all those descriptions in lines 3-6, and periods after lines 7 and 8. That could be just me, but really consider going over the poem and having someone proofread for you if possible! 