“Nature’s Yard Work”

[azure]

From my perch, so high, above the painted land
I gaze upon, far below, dunes of desert sand
Where the sun shone down in juicy, golden rays
And warmed the belly of the earth for long, forgotten days
Now, wind picks up and thrashes ‘bout the tiny grains
Who, all alone, stand no chance against the drowning rains
Thunder rumbles o’er my fragile, dusted ledge
And clouds billow ‘cross majestic mountain hedge
Yet, on my perch, all is for a moment quiet
Though endlessly beneath me, nature shivers in a riot
Mother rushes, changing ‘round the old landscapes
At last, I flap my wings and make my great escape.

The rhythm of this piece jumped all over the place, and some of the tricks you used to add a level of sophistication were quite useless and reminded me of the crap I'd do in my own poetry to dazzle an audience. I had issues with the meter as well, it seemed to make sense for a couple of lines, then became erratic and tiring to read. However, some of the images here were interesting and original. I would suggest adhering to a more definitive meter and expanding upon the beginnings of decent imagery already present. Sorry for the vague critique, I desperately need sleep... You could go somewhere with this, just apply yourself.

Azure