gravity

[vagabond]

[quote='vagabond' pid='179390' dateline='1416505866']
thanks for all critics above.
i tried an edit. don´t like the last line myself, but I can´t think of a better one.



gravity



what´s heavy was light is-was...what is to reverse. Too clever and so not clever at all. Like that last statement...but it is your poem, not mine. You confuse yourself. I don't feel part of what you mean but frustratingly feel.I ought to  be.
and the other way round See what I mean? What is light was heavy.  Or is that 360 degrees? Sure beats the shit out'ta me

- was just trying to describe the circle of matter in the universe,  massive stars that don´t live forever but are blown away in time so that out of those nebula new stars will be formed. but you are correct. it doesn´t make sense as the atoms in that circle have always the same weight. damn logic.




in space and time Pseudo-poetry relies on this ridiculous enjambment. Pseudo-poets do not know
what enjambment
is.
Do you?           looked it up now.




all is floating apart Yes...but "all" is a weak descriptor. Does it include my testicles, my chess set, my packet of roasted nuts? No. All is not all inclusive. I get your well understood point but as you are embracing physics you need to let me know what you know.     

- well it does include your testicles as the universe as a whole is expanding.



but there´s a subtle embrace[
that acts endlessly far I know. Thank god for it...or the next stanza would be off in to endless space.Stop bizarre enjambment.             

- now i´m confused.

thanks for your critic.
going to re-edit when i have more time and inspiration.