haiku

haiku

rayheinrich Offline

Left of Alabaster

Posts: 444
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Joined: Nov 2011

#21

01-03-2015, 11:44 AM

(12-28-2014, 12:02 PM)amiwrite Wrote:
(09-21-2014, 10:37 PM)Tamara Wrote: this is just not working for me. anyone has some good suggestions?

etched on the moon
behind the clouds
my listless wandering
honestly I do not understand the meaning, or rather what you are trying to convey. I understand that there is something etched onto the moon (which stands behind clouds) but I do not see how these three lines tie in together. My suggestion would be to rewrite this, with specifically the moon in mind.

Read the Erthona post directly above yours.

a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions

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Messages In This Thread

haiku - by Tamara - 09-21-2014, 10:37 PM

RE: haiku - by Tiger the Lion - 09-21-2014, 10:52 PM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-22-2014, 12:01 AM

RE: haiku - by alatos - 09-23-2014, 06:24 AM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-23-2014, 10:30 AM

RE: haiku - by Tiger the Lion - 09-23-2014, 10:41 AM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-23-2014, 10:52 AM

RE: haiku - by rayheinrich - 09-23-2014, 02:25 PM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-23-2014, 02:41 PM

RE: haiku - by rayheinrich - 09-23-2014, 04:30 PM

RE: haiku - by Mwaba don - 09-29-2014, 05:51 AM

RE: haiku - by rayheinrich - 09-29-2014, 01:08 PM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-29-2014, 11:11 AM

RE: haiku - by haikutec - 09-30-2014, 01:28 AM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-30-2014, 01:54 AM

RE: haiku - by haikutec - 09-30-2014, 02:00 AM

RE: haiku - by Tamara - 09-30-2014, 02:01 AM

RE: haiku - by Erthona - 12-25-2014, 02:53 AM

RE: haiku - by amiwrite - 12-28-2014, 12:02 PM

RE: haiku - by rayheinrich - 01-03-2015, 11:44 AM

RE: haiku - by dwestmor - 01-01-2015, 06:16 AM

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