01-25-2015, 05:31 AM
No harm no foul.
My initial comment was misjudged in its simplicity, and as I said, lazy.
I will just give a more comprehensive, less likely to be misinterpreted, account of my position on the poem itself.
These kind of poems are very difficult to write well. But, ironically, there is a kind of 'anything will do' sense about them, simply because the subject matter is so serious. But I cannot help thinking that that is only the popular opinion. I have heard and even given many harsh criticism of emo poetry dealing with suicide and self-harm, which in reality must be an awful thing to go through... but that said, the poetry produced by these emotional experiences tends to be mawkish and terribly written. The subject doesn't save a bad poem. Or, it shouldn't. And when the poem is a 3rd person account of an experience only vicariously encountered, then a well meaning bad poem can be just as offensive as a cynical poem written well. I am not suggesting your poem is offensive, of course, just it isn't very good and really doesn't add anything to the story other than a diary entry that 'children dying of cancer sucks; and fathers being criminalised trying to help them, sucks, too. Don't we live in a shit world?'
or something like that. The fact is, I really can't talk, because I simply have stopped being able to write poetry, so feel free to entirely dismiss everything I have said
My initial comment was misjudged in its simplicity, and as I said, lazy.
I will just give a more comprehensive, less likely to be misinterpreted, account of my position on the poem itself.
These kind of poems are very difficult to write well. But, ironically, there is a kind of 'anything will do' sense about them, simply because the subject matter is so serious. But I cannot help thinking that that is only the popular opinion. I have heard and even given many harsh criticism of emo poetry dealing with suicide and self-harm, which in reality must be an awful thing to go through... but that said, the poetry produced by these emotional experiences tends to be mawkish and terribly written. The subject doesn't save a bad poem. Or, it shouldn't. And when the poem is a 3rd person account of an experience only vicariously encountered, then a well meaning bad poem can be just as offensive as a cynical poem written well. I am not suggesting your poem is offensive, of course, just it isn't very good and really doesn't add anything to the story other than a diary entry that 'children dying of cancer sucks; and fathers being criminalised trying to help them, sucks, too. Don't we live in a shit world?'
or something like that. The fact is, I really can't talk, because I simply have stopped being able to write poetry, so feel free to entirely dismiss everything I have said