While you're on the other side of the world to me

[LorettaYoung]

While you're on the other side of the world to me,
Everything will change, this side of the sea.
The howling wind will pass, the thick fog will go;
You'll hear my truth, you'll see my soul.

The feeling of electricity when I hold your hand,
As if lighting had struck twice where I stand,
Shoots up my arm and blows through my mind;
Like a shockwave, your touch ripples through my insides.

And if the world was forever eclipsed,
By the magic that passes between our lips,
I couldn't care for what they all might say;
For our love would shine brighter than the light of any day.

Whether washed up on some tepid tide,
Or lost in a maze, you'll forever be my guide.
You show me life, where all seems dead;
You make my life, I love you, Beth.

Hi: I enjoyed reading your poem. I do agree that the title gets lost after the first stanza, and that on the first line "to me" is unnecessary; and in general think you may be using too many words that distract. As in S3, the "And" seems unnecessary.
I do think the word "electricity" kind of cause one to get stuck on the line. Perhaps "sparks" or something easier to say. Still in S3, the first three lines are relatively equal, and then a very long line that I think detracts from the first line; the meaning is appropriate; but I think it could be condensed.  Good luck, Loretta