Early Edit 0.01 Ellz, river

[tectak]

The poem's intent is a little unclear to me.  I understand that this crow wakes up before people and even the foxes so that it can find carrion.  Is the bird shot or is it a gunshot that startles it?  "Morning has passed to man" is quite nice but I'm assuming that means, the crow was shot.  But then I'm confused because the dead animals (or bird) on the highway are gone before the fox can get to them, so then I assume the crow is alive.  Can you clarify all this in the writing?

Beetle-black with glinty, guilty eye, the carrion  crow (Is "glinty" enough? What is the crow guilty of?) Don't know. That's the thing about looking guilty
comes craving, raucous, raiding.She cleaves the dawn (space between period and S)Oops
still wrapped in dreams of sleeping souls. Rasping words (why "rasping"?) Hoarse voices on awaking...probably a snoring night, awakened by tbe bloody squawking crow...I will swing for the bugger that wakes me at 5am every day!
escape through sashes open-cracked, up to the misted sky.

She flinches, as if pricked by flea, when sight or sound ( the pricked part throws me) Yep...it throws a flying crow, too.
disrupts her flight. A twitch, a twist in mock distress, she calls (What is it that distresses the crow?) Nothing. That is why it is mock distress. Anything that indicates potential danger elicits a distress response in birds. A sudden sound or movement will do it
to warn but draws the early gun. Flash! Dashed she tumble-turns,
a single quill flat-spins to ground... morning has passed to man. (I like this line if it fits the scene.)

Still things of blood - furred, feathered or spined -
lie spread and flat on tar grit roads; all gone before the fox awakes. (must be a complete sentence after a semi colon)
Wings whiffle down to empty lanes and hide in hawthorn spiked
in white; then swoop to swallow shreds of red from dead of night. (This works nicely but again - full sentence needed after a semi colon.)

Far afield lie dappled drays, full stretched on grass as damp
as river beds; the mares from night plume golden mists to lift (omit the "to"?) but then it makes no sense
themselves into the sun. They steam like engines coaled and fired;
shimmered and shivered in to the working day. (full sentence needed after semi colon. Does "shivered"
make sense?) Yes. Horses do that when they wake and stand. Subtle point, though. Used to "relate" to horse not engine.

See now how God awakes and breaks the wraiths that swirl
and scurry through dove-cooed oaks. Look where the steeple
sheds the shroud, where  naked branches starkly sway;
a gentle shifting in the air. April morn has brought an early spring.

I like this last stanza and how God is brought in.  I'm a bit confused as to who all the ghosts belong to.  Is the speaker trying to imply something about people he / she lost?  Was the carrion dead people?  Maybe work on the theme a bit more. See end

I hope some of this is useful to you,

Anne  
tectak
April 2015

Hi anne,Though I agree that I have too many semicolons the coverall reason is  not the one you give.

A semicolon can replace conjunctions "and" or "but".
Semicolons indicate a stronger separation than a comma but weaker than a period.
A semicolon is often used in lists to separate items when some of the items in listed subsets require commas.
The semicolon is always followed by a lower case letter with proper nouns being the only exception (proper nouns are always capitalized).
Semicolon use can be applied to separate two clauses or sentences that are saying the same thing in different ways.
Still credit. I will edit.
Schroedinger's crow. It matters not one jot whether the crow is alive or dead. A gun went off, a feather fell. Man is afoot.
Dead. Another crow, magpie or whatever gets the carrion.
Alive. Yep. It's our crow snacking on the slaughter.

British Dictionary.com
wraith
/reɪθ/
noun
1.
the apparition of a person living or thought to be alive, supposed to appear around the time of his death
2.
a ghost or any apparition
3.
an insubstantial copy of something
4.
something pale, thin, and lacking in substance, such as a column of smoke

The rest is eaten by me...crit is always edible.
Thanks,
tectak