NEPAL

NEPAL

tectak Offline

WTF

Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017

05-20-2015, 02:43 AM

(04-28-2015, 11:29 AM)srijantje Wrote: piles of rubble
moaning underneath
nothing is unreal

Last line is the last line is perfect.
Best,
tectak

(05-20-2015, 02:41 AM)Erthona Wrote: Shiva moves
the earth moans
love kills many.

Pick where you punctuate.
Shiva moves. The earth moves. Love kills many.
Shiva moves the earth.Moves love. Kills many.
Shiva moves. The earth moves love. Kills many.

Does it. Matter.
tectak

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Messages In This Thread

NEPAL - by srijantje - 04-28-2015, 11:29 AM

RE: NEPAL - by ellajam - 04-28-2015, 11:30 AM

RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 04-28-2015, 11:44 AM

RE: NEPAL - by Erthona - 05-20-2015, 02:41 AM

RE: NEPAL - by tectak - 05-20-2015, 02:43 AM

RE: NEPAL - by Airlocke - 05-20-2015, 02:48 AM

RE: NEPAL - by Erthona - 05-20-2015, 10:23 AM

RE: NEPAL - by tectak - 05-20-2015, 04:16 PM

RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-20-2015, 05:34 PM

RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 05-20-2015, 05:43 PM

RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-20-2015, 08:06 PM

RE: NEPAL - by Leanne - 05-21-2015, 07:58 AM

RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-21-2015, 09:59 AM

RE: NEPAL - by Leanne - 05-21-2015, 10:21 AM

RE: NEPAL - by billy - 05-21-2015, 03:06 PM

RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 05-21-2015, 03:22 PM

RE: NEPAL - by RiverNotch - 05-21-2015, 07:35 PM

RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-21-2015, 09:51 PM

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