How do you paint a picture with words? Revision

[Todd]

Hi QC, 


Here are some comments on the revision:

Tried to improve it, might be worse!XD

How do you paint a picture with words?--If this is your title, it doesn't have to be your first line. Let the title do its work and start with line 2.
Syllables sloping, groping emotion, force a rhyme...--I love syllables sloping and I like the internal rhyme of groping along with the force a rhyme part implying that poems can rhyme and maybe what you just did was forced (it wasn't). Here's an idea your kind of touching on that you may want to consider as you develop this: Sloping and canvas below makes me think of the brushstrokes that your title implies. draw that out more. Keep thinking what is another way I can make the poem a painting. Okay that might be too broad, consider groping emotion (emotion is general and vague...go for a specific emotion) ask yourself how you grope in a painting. Paiting is visual, poetry at the best auditory. How do you show forced rhyme in a painting? This is how you can turn ears into eyes with imagery.
I want to know, I want to flow,--Consider cutting every line that does not show poetry as painting.
Eluding my grasp in glossy dark caverns.--This feels painting like with its glossy dark caverns.
Is poetry a thought, an emotion?--Only ask one question of your poem. Don't weaken the focus. You can restate this in a statement, but I would encourage you to keep only one question.
Floating through annals of poets devotion,
If a word is a thought, why can't it be me --Again how can painting imagery be brought out in this.
Expressing, attesting for you to see.
There's a rhyme does it flow, does it go
In my lyrical garden, plucking the rose?--This is the right direction but tie the imagery into a painted rose in a painted garden. 

I realize this a lot to write in the novice forum, and I truly hope its helpful and not overwhelming. The advice at this point is really this: answer the question your title asks. Focus yourself to draw out that imagery. I read the original and this is an improvement.

Best,

Todd