haiku attempt

[Magpie]

Incense permeates
The rain, bells tinkle and sigh;;
Tell me my future

It has got some interesting possibilities and the individual concrete images are easy to imagine. I agree with Billy that it feels more like a senryu, especially now we know there is a human element to it. Don't worry too much about sticking to the 5-7-5 syllable structure it's more about the snapshot of a moment so in many ways the least amount of words that it's possible to do it with is best.

Just using all the elements that you've got here it could be arranged something like,

bells and incense
fortune teller sighs -
thunderstorm (or 'raindrops sound' or something similar)

So this way it has still got your images and kind of implies what I think you were getting at and there is an element of humour in there which is in a lot of senryu. See what you think.

Thanks for the read,

Mark