06-16-2015, 06:10 PM
@ambrosial oh, now I like that that arrangement. snapshot of the moment, that concept just clicked, hm
Thanks Mercedes, I see your point, thinking about bells and incense now bring monks to mind.
just for the record, I was picturing a gypsy caravan, belled curtains, incense, crystal balls..XD
Is it okay to post revisions in the same day? Or is that breaking the rule of one poem in critique forums? Is this a critique forum?! Btw, I appreciate the comments, I see that's its senryu now, more about humans than the natural world..
Thanks Mercedes, I see your point, thinking about bells and incense now bring monks to mind.
just for the record, I was picturing a gypsy caravan, belled curtains, incense, crystal balls..XD
Is it okay to post revisions in the same day? Or is that breaking the rule of one poem in critique forums? Is this a critique forum?! Btw, I appreciate the comments, I see that's its senryu now, more about humans than the natural world..
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.