06-17-2015, 09:25 PM
Before I forget to say it, the two things that I wished someone had told me when I first started writing haiku are, it's
a one breath poem
that has an 'aha' moment
If I could go back in time this is what I would tell myself about writing haiku, elements like a season word and a cut are important but in my opinion not as important as those two points.
I like the way that this haiku is going, nice edits. I think the whole process that you're going through now with this haiku is amazing for your first haiku. My first haiku didn't have a fraction of the effort that you've put into this.
Also, I know it's really hard to get out of the habit of using capital letters and punctuation, but in short poems like this it usually isn't used. It can sometimes clutter and complicate things unnecessarily, good line breaks can usually imply how it is to be read. Sometimes a dash - to indicate a cut is used if needed. Minimalism. Brevity. and the occasional frog or cherry blossom tree.
a one breath poem
that has an 'aha' moment
If I could go back in time this is what I would tell myself about writing haiku, elements like a season word and a cut are important but in my opinion not as important as those two points.
I like the way that this haiku is going, nice edits. I think the whole process that you're going through now with this haiku is amazing for your first haiku. My first haiku didn't have a fraction of the effort that you've put into this.
Also, I know it's really hard to get out of the habit of using capital letters and punctuation, but in short poems like this it usually isn't used. It can sometimes clutter and complicate things unnecessarily, good line breaks can usually imply how it is to be read. Sometimes a dash - to indicate a cut is used if needed. Minimalism. Brevity. and the occasional frog or cherry blossom tree.
wae aye man ye radgie