short & thweet

[Magpie]

Hello whacky short form artists.  My name is Mark Becker, and I'm new to this forum.  I have a great affinity for short form poetry.  With that brief intro, I offer the following haiku:


jay bird glissandos
sharp grace notes, staccato crows
cool blue sheet music

Hi Mark,
I like some of the sound that you've got going on in here, which is appropriate for the musical context, 'staccato crows' sounds particularly good and I can see 'crows' as the bird and the sound, which works well for me. I don't see it as a haiku as such but as a short poem it works. 'sharp grace notes' seems a bit lost on the second line could you have it something like 

jay bird glissandos
into staccato crows

or perhaps 'towards' instead of into to avoid the confusion that some people may see them crashing into each other. I would also love to see the last line as "azure sheet music", but that's more to do with my obsession with the word azure.

Nice images, thanks for the read,

Mark