06-25-2015, 12:42 AM
Thanks Christopher-
Yeah- the jazz of it all. At one point this one started with: "jaybirds jiving jazz". Then it morphed...
The grace notes gotta go, so I'm leaning toward something like this:
jay bird glissandos
gliding by staccato crows
cool blue sheet music
As for "jazz music", I'm afraid that "jazz" and "music" would be redundant. I already ran into that problem, and redundancy would be a killer within a 17 syllable constraint.
Same (almost) goes for "glissandos" and "gliding", though it could be either the jays or crows doing the gliding, and I sorta like how it could go either way.
I agree that jays are cacophonous, and if they didn't swoop the way they do, I would have avoided "glissandos". Accuracy is important.
Yeah- the jazz of it all. At one point this one started with: "jaybirds jiving jazz". Then it morphed...
The grace notes gotta go, so I'm leaning toward something like this:
jay bird glissandos
gliding by staccato crows
cool blue sheet music
As for "jazz music", I'm afraid that "jazz" and "music" would be redundant. I already ran into that problem, and redundancy would be a killer within a 17 syllable constraint.
Same (almost) goes for "glissandos" and "gliding", though it could be either the jays or crows doing the gliding, and I sorta like how it could go either way.
I agree that jays are cacophonous, and if they didn't swoop the way they do, I would have avoided "glissandos". Accuracy is important.