Who keeps the flies away.

[rowens]

I think you have a couple or more good-sounding lines tossed into a sensible subject. A few lines sound good on their own, but reading the poem as a whole they tend to feel like random things. You're telling a story that makes sense, but the best sounding lines of poetry seem like weak installments trying to hold the thing up. I wish I could explain better, I can't see the poem while I'm writing in this little box, and am talking from memory of having read it a few times. But this is what came to me to critique the poem.