01-07-2016, 07:05 PM
can you change some of cliche into original phrasing? i've pointed out two stanza but there are more cliches within the poem. try and use simile/metaphor in place of
Magnetic in attraction look at all the lines and see where you can swap an image for phrase that just tell us something.
Magnetic in attraction look at all the lines and see where you can swap an image for phrase that just tell us something.
(01-07-2016, 05:26 PM)emyleerose Wrote: Are you ready for a risk
If you dare steak a kiss stake
Beware of the scorpio Scorpio
Of mysterious allure
Magnetic in attraction
Confident and secure
Holding her head high
with pride the whole stanza is cliche
she draws them in with penetrating eyes
eyes that blaze with intensity
mysterious mind with secrets to unfold
Behind her eyes lay a deep wild sea of emotion
full of passion and desire
someone who is willing
to fight
fire with fire same here
an enemy to beware
never forgets a sight
can be cruel but we don't care
beware of the scorpio sting