Rats In Cages, Edit #2

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Rats In Cages, Edit #2

theopenhearst
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#2

01-12-2016, 08:33 AM

I really like the premise, and the opening has a nice hook. I really like line 2, for example. However, if you're looking for some critique, I do think that it is a little befuddling and perhaps meaningless around the middle? Sorry, I'm trying to think of a critique! I really do like the subject matter Smile

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Messages In This Thread

Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by UselessBlueprint - 01-11-2016, 02:25 PM

RE: Rats In Cages - by theopenhearst - 01-12-2016, 08:33 AM

RE: Rats In Cages - by QDeathstar - 01-12-2016, 09:47 AM

RE: Rats In Cages - by Erthona - 01-12-2016, 09:56 AM

RE: Rats In Cages - by UselessBlueprint - 01-12-2016, 04:10 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by Erthona - 01-12-2016, 08:25 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by Jeremiahcp - 01-17-2016, 03:05 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by ellajam - 01-17-2016, 03:17 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by UselessBlueprint - 01-17-2016, 03:46 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by QDeathstar - 01-17-2016, 09:02 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by Achebe - 01-17-2016, 09:16 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #1 - by UselessBlueprint - 01-21-2016, 12:04 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by aschueler - 01-21-2016, 07:45 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by UselessBlueprint - 01-23-2016, 03:43 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by aschueler - 01-23-2016, 09:46 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by Brujo - 01-25-2016, 02:50 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by LukeSizemore - 01-29-2016, 12:05 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by BW BRINE - 02-02-2016, 05:22 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by UselessBlueprint - 02-02-2016, 08:10 AM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by RiverNotch - 02-03-2016, 11:30 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by nikkisto - 02-04-2016, 02:51 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by Weeded - 02-10-2016, 01:22 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by UselessBlueprint - 02-10-2016, 02:41 PM

RE: Rats In Cages, Edit #2 - by vishaksagar - 02-10-2016, 03:12 PM

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