03-12-2016, 11:36 AM 
	
	
	
		yes i agree, it loses a sense of rhythm or something at the end but this doesn't really need to change. it makes it interesting. I like the lack of "i've" (been smoking a pack...). it suggests a deterioration in the poet, and somehow brings a smile. it reminds me of Bob Dylan
	
	
	
	

 

 
