03-13-2016, 11:48 AM 
	
	
	
		Although I haven't given you a full crit of the piece, if you need a second opinion on
"Though a thousand mile ramble, may his weary feet take"
for me "ramble" didn't change "walk a thousand miles" enough to make it less cliche or more interesting and "weary feet" made it worse. I'm sure you could think of a more interesting way to say it.
I'll try to get to to full critique tomorrow, sorry about that.
	
	
"Though a thousand mile ramble, may his weary feet take"
for me "ramble" didn't change "walk a thousand miles" enough to make it less cliche or more interesting and "weary feet" made it worse. I'm sure you could think of a more interesting way to say it.
I'll try to get to to full critique tomorrow, sorry about that.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
	

 

 
