03-17-2016, 12:00 AM
Abstraction and arbitration aside (love, hatred, words), I like "Bags haphazardly packed beside me." The rest is nothing spectacular to me. The favourite tunes holding tight portion bothers me, as it creates an incomprehensible image of intangible music holding a tangible person. Better just to say it comforts you. "Reminding me of when." I'm not even sure how to describe what's wrong with this line, other than "when what?" The punctuation and mechanics are wildly inconsistent, so making any sense of this is a chore.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona