03-20-2016, 07:55 AM
Jameso - the punctuation does lend clarity. But I'm still not sure what you mean by " to the chorus this choir will offer their lives, for no more etc."
I've removed the comma after chorus.
What does "offering your life to the chorus" mean?
At the moment it reads like - to the chorus the choir will offer their lives because the night mountain disappears in the morning.
I'm confused between cause and effect.
If you meant "in chorus the choir will give up their lives" it's different.
I've removed the comma after chorus.
What does "offering your life to the chorus" mean?
At the moment it reads like - to the chorus the choir will offer their lives because the night mountain disappears in the morning.
I'm confused between cause and effect.
If you meant "in chorus the choir will give up their lives" it's different.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe