Words
#10
(03-16-2016, 09:40 PM)DC Black Wrote:  These are the things that bind me:
Children, the best of my soul,
Words, always
Love
Hatred
These things ground me.
They halt my fanciful flights
Down dark, monstrous roads
Bags haphazardly packed beside me
And favourite tunes blaring loud, Favorite
Holding me so tight
Reminding me of when.
They stop me testing the great unknown,
Not yet, I'm not there yet,
I have so many more words still to read,
Still to say.
I feel like I understand where your going with this poem, but I think you can say it more concise and clear. Sometimes it is hard to break apart your ideas,
ex: 

They stop me testing the great unknown,
Not yet, I'm not there yet,
I have so many more words still to read,
Still to say.

When you say "they" be more clear, are you talking about Love and Hate, Tunes, or your favorite book. Let the reader know exactly what you mean, what is stopping you from exploring? I would try and simplify you theme and make it clear point by point. 

Enjoyed the message and the read! Thanks for joining the site and posting! 
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
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Messages In This Thread
Words - by DC Black - 03-16-2016, 09:40 PM
RE: Words - by UselessBlueprint - 03-17-2016, 12:00 AM
RE: Words - by Winter.Rain - 03-17-2016, 03:04 AM
RE: Words - by DC Black - 03-17-2016, 07:11 AM
RE: Words - by shemthepenman - 03-17-2016, 09:32 AM
RE: Words - by QDeathstar - 03-18-2016, 06:33 AM
RE: Words - by DC Black - 03-18-2016, 09:35 AM
RE: Words - by rocky20 - 03-19-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: Words - by The Raven - 03-20-2016, 10:26 AM
RE: Words - by Bunx - 03-22-2016, 01:56 AM
RE: Words - by Julius - 03-23-2016, 03:51 AM
RE: Words - by (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ - 04-04-2016, 11:34 AM
RE: Words - by jeh - 04-08-2016, 09:17 AM
RE: Words - by DC Black - 04-09-2016, 08:57 AM
RE: Words - by bluerain_ - 04-12-2016, 11:34 AM
RE: Words - by babymonkey - 04-13-2016, 08:17 AM
RE: Words - by seastar3949 - 04-13-2016, 02:40 PM



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