Unknown Lover

[Achebe]

Your words brush across my mind like I'm feeling your hand slightly and gently on my arm. Your touch sends electric so powerful through my body it could throw me against the wall. Your body smells like the scent of Aphrodite traveled millennia to be graced upon you. You are the image every artist craves to paint but can never capture, as if you were carved from the hands of angels directly. You are what I have always needed. You are someone who will live forever. I will punch everyone in the face until someone says they can make apple juice from lemons because that's the kind of exotic you are. Only....I still haven't met you. And if I have perhaps it was in another life or I was to clouded to comprehend you yet. If you do exist I will find you, and i will give you that apple juice made from lemons.

Hi QV -an example:

Your words brush across my mind like I'm feeling your hand slightly and gently on my arm

1) The simile is confusing because after 'like' I'm expecting 'something that brushes across something else'. Instead, I get 'I'm feeling...' - this isn't technically a simile. It's an inchoate thought.

2)  It's wordy. The following could be better substitutes:

Your words brush across my mind like the brush of your hand across my arm
Your words brush across my mind like your hand brushes across my arm
[i][i]Your words brush across me like your hand against my arm[/i]

[/i]3) The 'slightly' and 'gently' spoil the second part of the sentence  - adjectives diminish the power of the noun, and are best used sparingly.