Unknown Lover

[homer1950]

Your words brush across my mind like I'm feeling your hand slightly and gently on my arm. Your touch sends electric so powerful through my body it could throw me against the wall. Your body smells like the scent of Aphrodite traveled millennia to be graced upon you. You are the image every artist craves to paint but can never capture, as if you were carved from the hands of angels directly. You are what I have always needed. You are someone who will live forever. I will punch everyone in the face until someone says they can make apple juice from lemons because that's the kind of exotic you are. Only....I still haven't met you. And if I have perhaps it was in another life or I was to clouded to comprehend you yet. If you do exist I will find you, and i will give you that apple juice made from lemons.

Hi QV,

Like the others I would suggest a more traditional format. Beyond that this work has so much imagery I am finding difficult to hear your message. 

You have a line in the poem - you are the image every artist craves. The line is vast, it leaves too much up to my imagination as the reader. What I mean, is I can not keep focus because it makes me think too much of what that image could be. I imagine every artist craves a different image.

Then add the fact you are painting an image of somone you haven't met yourself really overloads the readers imagination. 

Maybe bring more focus to your description of the character you are writing about. Try not to be so broad and vague. You have a flare for painting word pics. Just do not need them so overly abstract.