04-22-2016, 12:11 AM
*** Okay, with the help of all the critics I was able to come up with this version. Please guide me if it's any better. thanks much! ***
3rd Edit:
A Live Reflection
Look deep inside your heart
the colors of my presence
are still within you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the warmth of my breath
still embracing your soul.
You will find
the mist of my tears
is still clinging to bed folds.
You will hear
the echo of my silence
through the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside
my reflection still lives on
in the mirror of your heart.
-----------------------------------------
2nd Edit:
A Live Reflection
Look deep inside your heart
the colors of my presence
still surround you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the fragrance of my breath
still embracing your soul.
You will find
the mist of my tears
is still clinging to bed folds.
You will hear
my silence reverberates
through the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside
my reflection still lives
in the mirror of your heart.
---------------------------------------------------------
1st Edit:
A Live Reflection
When you look deep inside your heart
You will see the colors of my presence
are still around you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the fragrance of my breath
still embrace your soul.
You will find the mist of my tears
is still cling in bed folds.
You will hear the echo of my silence
still reverberates in the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside your heart
my reflection still lives
in the mirror of your heart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Original:
Alive Reflection
Reflect deeply at a mirror of your heart,
The essence of my being
Is all around you.
My breaths are embraced
On the back of your hand.
The soft heat of my velvety touch
Is still breathing in your eyes.
My unfulfilled desires, longings
Are still scattered on your pores.
My soul’s dew filled perfume
had fallen in the home courtyard,
My tears are cling in bed folds,
My tone, which was lost long ago
By your dampen lips,
Is still sitting there.
By the window
Where there are heavy curtains of fog,
My dusk is still waiting for you.
Still, my dawn is asleep in your palm.
My reflection is still alive
in a mirror of your heart.
-- Shaan
3rd Edit:
A Live Reflection
Look deep inside your heart
the colors of my presence
are still within you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the warmth of my breath
still embracing your soul.
You will find
the mist of my tears
is still clinging to bed folds.
You will hear
the echo of my silence
through the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside
my reflection still lives on
in the mirror of your heart.
-----------------------------------------
2nd Edit:
A Live Reflection
Look deep inside your heart
the colors of my presence
still surround you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the fragrance of my breath
still embracing your soul.
You will find
the mist of my tears
is still clinging to bed folds.
You will hear
my silence reverberates
through the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside
my reflection still lives
in the mirror of your heart.
---------------------------------------------------------
1st Edit:
A Live Reflection
When you look deep inside your heart
You will see the colors of my presence
are still around you.
You will feel
the velvety heat of my touch and
the fragrance of my breath
still embrace your soul.
You will find the mist of my tears
is still cling in bed folds.
You will hear the echo of my silence
still reverberates in the house.
By the window
with its curtains of fog,
my dusk is still waiting for a bright dawn.
When you look inside your heart
my reflection still lives
in the mirror of your heart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Original:
Alive Reflection
Reflect deeply at a mirror of your heart,
The essence of my being
Is all around you.
My breaths are embraced
On the back of your hand.
The soft heat of my velvety touch
Is still breathing in your eyes.
My unfulfilled desires, longings
Are still scattered on your pores.
My soul’s dew filled perfume
had fallen in the home courtyard,
My tears are cling in bed folds,
My tone, which was lost long ago
By your dampen lips,
Is still sitting there.
By the window
Where there are heavy curtains of fog,
My dusk is still waiting for you.
Still, my dawn is asleep in your palm.
My reflection is still alive
in a mirror of your heart.
-- Shaan