The real monsters.

[Sarah Luu]

I have to be honest here, I prefer where your original poem was going before you edited it to make it more political. The edited poem feels rushed and like you didn't really care what you were writing. I can feel a dark essence in the original poem and that is my kind of thing. I love dark poetry, even if it has some cliche woven in to the design; like the monsters hiding under the bed.

I agree with previous comments about your title. You should definitely cut it down to "Monsters" because it will leave much for the reader to anticipate before they read your poem. If I saw a poem simple called "Monsters", I would readily read that poem and possibly expect some darkness along the lines.

Good luck with your future edits.