05-27-2016, 03:15 PM
Thank you, Kolemath. You seem to like the poem, which makes me happy, although the lines you want me to cut make me wonder if you understand it all.
To me the "father" of the Bible and God are not the same thing, thus I didn't capitalize "father". I didn't mean to contrast the old and new testaments. I'm simply referring to the Bible as a "book of fear".
I've changed one word in that stanza.
When I wrote, "Not in men", I wasn't excluding women in particular. I was using the term "men" in the general sense, to mean everyone -- kind of like the universal "he". However, I do believe that men have screwed up the world royally, and I think women would do a better job of it.
I'm not going to try to explain the central concept of the poem at this time in case someone else wants to comment.
To me the "father" of the Bible and God are not the same thing, thus I didn't capitalize "father". I didn't mean to contrast the old and new testaments. I'm simply referring to the Bible as a "book of fear".
I've changed one word in that stanza.
When I wrote, "Not in men", I wasn't excluding women in particular. I was using the term "men" in the general sense, to mean everyone -- kind of like the universal "he". However, I do believe that men have screwed up the world royally, and I think women would do a better job of it.
I'm not going to try to explain the central concept of the poem at this time in case someone else wants to comment.