06-01-2016, 03:00 PM
I have to agree with my friend above. Audibly a here this and it's a good sensory piece. I can see the red. Imagine the heat and the not so gentle caress of the red flames against my fingertips. However, visually speaking it looked mashed.
For this sort of poetry I get the image of a dimly lit stage and a beauty basked in shaded red light - sultry and smoky. But if the wording were her body she could sway to the beat of the word properly. Maybe add a note stating to read it aloud?
Lovely imagery, please let me know if you write more.
For this sort of poetry I get the image of a dimly lit stage and a beauty basked in shaded red light - sultry and smoky. But if the wording were her body she could sway to the beat of the word properly. Maybe add a note stating to read it aloud?
Lovely imagery, please let me know if you write more.