07-22-2016, 02:40 AM
Frog sits on stone
Chanting for the others homage
Till moon disappears
One of the things that haiku eschew is telling the reader what to think, feel or imagine. L2 is the author's interpretation of what the frog is doing. Best to say what you see and leave what you think, feel or imagine out of the word picture.
a few examples less authorial intrusion.
on a stone
the croaking frog
moonset
moonset
the croaking frog
on a stone
the croaking frog
on a stone
moonset
Chanting for the others homage
Till moon disappears
One of the things that haiku eschew is telling the reader what to think, feel or imagine. L2 is the author's interpretation of what the frog is doing. Best to say what you see and leave what you think, feel or imagine out of the word picture.
a few examples less authorial intrusion.
on a stone
the croaking frog
moonset
moonset
the croaking frog
on a stone
the croaking frog
on a stone
moonset