10-03-2016, 03:45 PM
River, I really like this one. Ok, I've been liking a lot of them 
I'm not sure that you need the first line. I understand that it reinforces the knife element, but it feels awkward to me to not just begin on 'like a hundred hundred needles.' I don't think that cutting the first line (ha, cutting!) will diminish the ending in any way. Just a thought.
I'm not sure that you need the first line. I understand that it reinforces the knife element, but it feels awkward to me to not just begin on 'like a hundred hundred needles.' I don't think that cutting the first line (ha, cutting!) will diminish the ending in any way. Just a thought.