10-11-2016, 05:32 AM 
	
	
	
		New version is up.
Thanks to everyone who commented -- I got lots of great perspectives and suggestions. > <  >
<  > < >
< > <
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My goal for this revision was scene clarity. Pick it apart and let me know what's still missing.
Thanks for reading 
 
lizziep
	
	
	
Thanks to everyone who commented -- I got lots of great perspectives and suggestions. >
 <  >
<  > < >
< > <
< My goal for this revision was scene clarity. Pick it apart and let me know what's still missing.
Thanks for reading
 
 lizziep

 

 
